Weâ€™ve all heard the many catch phrases when it comes to haters like:
â€œHaters are your biggest fansâ€
â€œHaters are just secret admirersâ€
â€œHaters gonna hateâ€
â€œDonâ€™t hate, congratulateâ€
â€œOf course, I think that people are just waiting for that time when I make a mistake and they’re gonna jump on it…. There’s gonna be haters.â€ â€“ Justin Bieber aka Bieberveli aka Bugatti Biebz aka Bieber the Don
Okâ€¦you get the point.
The fact of the matter is, no matter how good you do in life, or no matter how hard you see someone else do it, you will either be hated or be the hater.
Iâ€™m all for people liking me. I feel as a personal trainer, thereâ€™s that â€œpersonalâ€ aspect in my life that people should and will cling to. This gives a sense of value to the relationship not only from a coach/client perspective but also from a human being to another perspective.
I recently read a blog article titled The 4 Kinds of People (And What You Can Learn From Them) and the very beginning of the article states:
â€œThere are four kinds of people in this world:
people who like you for the wrong reasons;
people who like you for the right reasons;
people who dislike you for the wrong reasons; and
people who dislike you for the right reasons.
And it’s only the last group you need to worry about.â€
Â I whole-heartedly agree with the latter statement but I think we, as human beings, tend to judge those who may be where we want to be and/or who are doing better in life than we are so we hate them for it. Maybe not â€œhateâ€ like â€œoh em gee I hate your stinking gutsâ€ but the subliminal shots, the name calling, the negative commentsâ€¦that is hating.
This is another kind of person that we need to focus on. Why does a person feel the need to hate? Speak ill of someone? Is the problem YOU? Is the problem their inner demons?
My example Iâ€™ll use is this:
First and foremost, I cherish aesthetics. I donâ€™t chase the strongman competitions. Neither do my clients. Put simply, a majority of my clientele is the fat loss or muscle building group. These are the aesthetic creatures that what to get stronger, faster, leaner, be pain free, and live a better life and maybe live it a little more confidently.
If youâ€™ve been reading my blogs, connected with me via Facebook or Twitter, or cruised through my Instagram, youâ€™ll know Iâ€™m exactly about what I portray. Sure, I catch some flack for what I post. So what? I love clothes, sneakers, lifting heavy weight, and food. Iâ€™ll post a selfie now and again. So what? What does hating on ANYTHING I post (or on anyone elseâ€™s Facebook/Twitter/Instagram) do for you?
Â If I were you, the hater, I would do this:
Turn that hate in to motivation. Like the late Notorious BIG said, â€œturn the negative in to the positiveâ€¦â€ He went from â€œashy to classy.â€ What does a negative mindset do to your goal in life? If someone pisses you off because they have a better physique, do something about it. Ask questions. â€œClosed mouths donâ€™t get fed.â€ If someone has a job you want, be greater than him or her; work smarter, not necessarily harder. Stop hating on people for reasons that really donâ€™t exist. Donâ€™t dislike someone for the wrong reasons.
At the end of the day, these people you seem to â€˜hateâ€™ hold a key to the door youâ€™re trying to get in to. Would you rather bash the key-holder or would you rather learn and earn it?
When you hate on someone else, youâ€™re minimizing your self-worth and when you lack self-worth, youâ€™ll lack way more in life than that.